Mahatma Gandhi was guilt-ridden that he was occupied in having sexual intercourse at the precise moment when his father breathed his last. Gandhiji was very devoted to his father and served him with selfless dedication in his last days. However, he felt guilt about his lack of restraint as he recollects in his autobiography.

Mahatma Gandhi says that "this carnal lust got the better of what I my duty to study, and of what was even a greater duty, my devotion to my parents....Every night whilst my hands were busy massaging my father's legs, my mind was hovering about the bedroom and that too at a time when religion, medical science and commonsense alike forbade sexual intercourse. I was always glad to be relieved from my duty and went straight to the bedroom after doing obeisance to my father."

Recollecting the night his father passed away, Mahatma Gandhi recalls: "The dreadful night came. My uncle was then in Rajkot. I have a faint recollection that he came to Rajkot having had news that my father was getting worse. The brothers were deeply attached to each other. My uncle would sit near my father's bed the whole day and would insist on sleeping by his bedside after sending us all to sleep. No one had dreamt that this was to be the fateful night.

The danger of course, was there. It was ten thirty or eleven pm. I was giving the massage. My uncle offered to relieve me. I was glad and went straight to the bedroom. My wife, poor thing was fast asleep. But how could she sleep when I was there? I woke her up.

In five or six minutes, however, the servant knocked at the door. I started with alarm. 'Get up', he said, 'Father is very ill'.... and so I guessed what 'very ill' meant at that moment. I sprang out of bed....So all was over! I had but to wring my hands....I saw that if animal passion had not blinded me, I should have been spared the torture of separation from my father during his last moments. I should have been massaging him and he would have died in my arms....The shame, to which I have referred in a foregoing chapter, was this shame of my carnal desire even at the critical hour of my father's death, which demanded wakeful service.

It was a blot I have never been able to efface or forget, and I have always thought that, although my devotion to my parents knew no bounds and I would have given up anything for it, yet it was weighed and found unpardonable wanting because my mind was at the same moment in the grip of lust. I have therefore, always regarded myself as a lustful, though a faithful, husband. I took me long to get free from the shackles of lust, and I had to pass through many ordeals before I could overcome it."
(Source: My Experiments With Truth By Mahatma Gandhi)

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